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This month, columnist and life coach Jo Miller answers questions about what to leave in and what to leave out when evaluating your career move "trades."

Q: I am in a career quandary. I am a systems administrator with a degree in Literature. Sometimes I think I must be crazy for wanting to leave such a lucrative career, but I'm miserable. My escapist fantasies include working on a newspaper's op/ed page or teaching high school literature. I am married with two great kids, living a modest lifestyle. We would like to move to a bigger house, but this could wait. Am I being realistic or should we expect to starve?

A: Making a career change may not be as "black or white" as you think. Instead of taking one great leap, breaking it down into transition steps will allow you to keep your current income while floating your new ideas. The first milestone could be to volunteer your time editing a community newsletter, or teaching at a museum, library, or camp. Or freelance after-hours for a newspaper. The next milestone could be a part-time systems administrator contract while you phase in teaching or writing. Or a systems administration contract at a newspaper or school.

What are you willing to give up to follow your dream? Could your modest lifestyle be made even more modest? Identify exactly what you are prepared to give up in order to follow your dream. Examine which material 'needs' and 'wants' are less compelling to you than your dream. Could you drive an older-model car, take a camping vacation instead of staying in a hotel, or buy a bigger house in a less expensive neighborhood?

With well-planned strategies you CAN honor your spirit and take steps toward the goal without sacrificing the things you have worked hard for.

Q: In ten years of working for the same small, family-owned company I have never had a performance review. My two raises during that time were given because they were scared I might quit, even though I never threatened to do it. Things have not been going well. I am beginning to think about leaving. To compound matters somewhat, I was recently given two staff and regional project coordinating responsibilities on top of my existing workload. There was no offer of a new title or a raise. I wonder what advice you can give?

A: Leave. You are unbelievably employable, and there are numerous other companies where your loyalty and experience will be recognized and rewarded. Its time to give yourself the gift of a better title, more money, and an employer who values you.

Don't let fear of the unknown hold you back. You already know you won't get fired for looking elsewhere. When your employer finds out you are looking for a new job, they will try to throw you a few more scraps to make you feel bad about leaving. Don't be fooled. Anything they offer is peanuts compared to what you are really worth, and in three months you'll find yourself stuck recycling in this same dilemma again.

Q: I was laid off from my dot com nearly a whole year ago and since then I have not been able to pick back up where I left off. I would now consider changing careers. I took an interim position to keep money coming in but I can't decide what to do next (graduate school or law school). I feel depressed and down and out. Any suggestions or comments would be appreciated.

A: Work on feeling better first. Get prepared to stay in your interim job longer than you planned. Give yourself permission to NOT look for new career options for a whole month. A hasty decision made when you feel depressed will not be the best one for your future.

Take the pressure off yourself to have all the answers now, and make some small, simple changes to lift your spirits. Instead of spending time on your career search, do some of the things you used to do to feel good, like sports, travel, art museums or time with friends. Life is about more than work, and you'll make much better decisions when you are feeling well and happy.